Jack, Zodiac, the reason for Elizabeth Short’s extra-wide smile,

I’ve been called many names.

I stole one of your favorite socks the other week.

Yes, the green fuzzy one.

I side-swiped your car in the parking lot

And I didn’t leave a note.

What I did leave was the massive tip for the waitress

trying to put herself through college while raising two kids.

Banksy and I sometimes meet up for coffee and graffiti.

Awhile ago, I sat for a portrait for DaVinci,

And you people are still wondering who I am.

I like being on the side of the coin that faces down,

where Peter Pan’s shadow lives.

You were just enlivened with my blood last week.

Indeed—you’re very welcome.

But I have to go. I have so much still to do.